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Escape this reality with your headphones
Even if her name is carved into your bones
Don't forget to write this poem
Because that's the only thing you can do
When the only color you can see is blue
And this loneliness sticks to you like glue
But you try to pull away
Hoping to find a way
But you end up with noting to say
And your mind drifts to her
And your hearts about to commit murder
And everything is really just a blur
Because you can't sing her song
And you can't play a long
Because you know it's wrong.
Because she'll see through your lie
And won't even ask you why
She'll just say bye.
First you'll have to change
And you might think this is strange
but this silly goal is out of range.
Second cut the sin out of your life
But the only tool you have is a dull knife
No wonder she'll never be your wife.
Thirdly you have to have a pure soul
And in order for that you have to be whole
So you'll never reach your goal.
Next you have to knock at her door
Beg and grovel on the floor
It's there.It's there
There's a lingering feeling in the air
It's making me and you dare
I wonder if it makes you care
I wonder if you ever think about me
Am I something you can ever see
Or am I just another annoying flea?
These thoughts run through my head
And I cringe at all the things I ever said
I wonder if it left you seeing red.
But that would mean I touched your emotions
Do you wonder if I'm drowning in your ocean
I wonder if I should start a commotion
I wonder if that would make you glance
Or will it possibly enhance
our chance of romance.
But I'm not on the same level as you.
But I could be up there too
I wonder if that's true.
Because I live in a world of sin
And I hide behind a fake grin
Do you ever wonder what's really within?
Can you look past a life that I've scorn?
Can you look past a heart that's been torn?
Do you even wonder why I look at animated porn?
Can you love someone who was never real?
Can you accept what I even feel?
Do you ever wonder about scars that can't heal?
A Ring, A Kiss, and a Broken Engagment.A ring, A kiss, and a Broken engagement
I had a dream the other day
And it touched me in an odd way
But I found it hard to say
Because it was rather bright
And there was only one thing in sight
And it was you Ms. Wright
And I felt like a king
Because you had something to bring
It was a simple ring
A kind of ring that came in a pair
But the other one wasn't there
But you didn't seem to care.
But you had a smile
And I felt embarrassed for awhile
And you could add this to your file
But you wanted that thing
And my engagement was a fling
Cause you were the true owner of that ring
And you wanted a simple kiss
And I could take the risk
And embark on this trist
But I woke up instead.
I shook my head
And dismissed what my dream said.
Because I already gave that ring
To an eternal spring
And I thought I didn't have to worry about a thing
But that was a cruel lie
Because that spring had to go and die
And I found myself asking why
Because I received a letter
That left me feeling cold even with a
The Closest I ever got.The Closest I ever got.
I had a dream a couple nights back
It was about what I lack
It reminded me of already known facts
I dreamed of her face
I dreamed we were in the same place
And there was no me, not a single trace
Instead it was something she wanted me to be
The fashionable and cool me
I wonder if I can ever be he
I stood up in front of her Congregation.
I talked about my salvation
I talked about my motivation.
She said it had been years
Since that I've been near
She couldn't help but cheer.
She dragged me to a closet
Held onto me like a precious locket
And we went off like a rocket
I tasted her lips.
I placed my hands on her hips
From her dress I took a dip.
I could feel her underwear
I was almost there.
Until I open my eyes and saw what the ceiling had to bare.
And I was brought to a reality cold
And the lingering feeling was quite old.
Even in dreams where I was bold.
I could never quite get it.
No matter how much I threw a fit
I still was only a worthless piece of shit.
Not Even in my DreamsNot Even in my dreams
I follow your post on facebook
I never leave a word only a look
I guess that makes me a crook.
But you look rather joyful
In a life you call wonderful
But I think I had my full.
Because I can't take it any more
I can't open your closed door
I'm tired of sleeping on the floor.
I'm tired of thinking about the choices
And listening to my doubting voices
While I watch you rejoice.
Yeah, I'm bitter and you don't have a clue
Because you can't see the invisible world of blue
So you should just keep on walking through.
Because I got nothing left for you in my heart
Your rejection made a piece of art
Or maybe a car that just won't start
Now I'm going to start calling you names
Because I'm just that lame
But your the one who fanned these flames
You're a bitch
An ugly witch
A dead snitch.
You're guilty of casting a devilish spell
You illegally locked me in a cell.
With a wink you through me down a well.
And occasionally you come back to laugh at me
And bring your friends to
I have a job with money
I have a beautiful honey
And the sky is still sunny
Yet I can't seem to smile.
In my head I walk miles.
And all my writing ends in a trash pile.
All these feelings in my head
All the sleepless nights on my bed
Everything I ever said.
What was it all for?
When they just ask for more.
I felt this feeling before.
I try to hide it behind a girl
Who I claimed to be my world
But I won't buy her a pretty pearl
It made me not text her for a couple of days
I really had nothing to say
But I end up texting her the third day anyways
Because I was tired of the gloom
And all this stupid doom
I felt like I was going to pop like a balloon
But she only said a few words
That wasn't heard
Because I'm not part of her herd
I can't dance around in the sun.
I can barely have fun
I would rather shoot myself with a gun.
But she will never know.
And as always I'll go along with the flow.
So, it won't show.
Because depression can be quite delightful
And sadness can be beautiful
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
I screamMy scream is loud.
My scream is honest.
My scream is desperate.
My scream is filled with truth.
Why would nobody hear me?
dearly belovedthese days
your name has been slipping
in and out of my rib cage
my heart forgets to beat.
how even after all these months i still
don't want to believe that
you're dead. how during the
first couple of weeks i prayed
to a god i didn't believe in and begged to know
if death tasted sweet to you. how once,
when the monsters in my head
didn't let me sleep, i
wrote you three poems and then
you were a supernova that
lit up my life for
a few radiant moments before,
like all good things in this
you came to an end.
the sinner in me hopes that you have wings now.
but i think that,
most of all,
i hope you no longer
remember what pain
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
Wrists.Wrists are not made,
To be cut up by cold blades.
Blood was meant to stay in your veins,
Not to be drained.
From your body,
You're stronger than that,
I know a person can only take,
Until they break.
And you have your doubts,
And when you lay in bed,
The pain is all you think about.
But you're so much more,
Than your heart aches.
So much more,
Than your demons.
Even if you feel,
Like your dying,
And you are through with trying,
Because all you've been doing lately is crying.
I want you to know,
That no, you're not alone.
And you re going to survive.
Please just drop your knife,
Because you're going to,
Make it out alive.
words, wonderlight has faded and words are heavy,
but there is a delicate magic
twisting between your fingers.
it is all a-scribble
melisma without music;
syllables stitching terra firma
to firmament in intricate
stanzas that require
neither breath nor sound
to echo, infinite,
within the depths
of susurrous souls.
it is cold and it is dark,
but there is a fire in you
and you use it with a fierce grace
that illuminates the shadows,
and ignites the demons
until not even the grey spaces
that haunt and harry
can hold dominion.
they are exposed
they are broken
into shards of sunrise
and rays of a quiet
you scare away the night
with exhalations that blow
away the fogged emptiness
inside, over and over,
sparking fireworks from
what was thought
to be ash.
I Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger TogetherI Know You're Strong, Let's Be Stronger Together
if i’m being completely honest,
i can’t say i know what you’re goin’ through.
and if i’m being frank,
i’m sort of afraid to write this
because i’ve always been unsure
if i love too much but it’s my nature
and i’d rather lose by trying too hard
than to do so without doing enough.
i hope you’re asleep now
and i hope you don’t read this
till the morning and i hope by then
things will be a little lighter
but i’m hoping against hope
because if you don’t know,
i feel when things are off.
call it intuition, call it a feelin’,
say i just know it.
my friend, my door is always open
even when you’re feeling closed
off to the world and right there,
i can understand that feeling well,
because i still feel we relate to one another
better than most brothers understand their sisters.
know i look at you as a sibling
and i believe we know when the other
This One'sThis One's
This one's about a girl
Who created a world
Full of flowers
And Love was power
And she made people smile
And they laughed for a long while
This one's about a boy
Who wanted to be nothing but a toy
He climbed a tower
It took hours
He never cried
Exccept the day she died
This one's about a baby
It was his...maybe
It had her hair
It's skin was fair
It let out a loud cry
And a man forgot about a lie
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More