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The Closest I ever got.The Closest I ever got.
I had a dream a couple nights back
It was about what I lack
It reminded me of already known facts
I dreamed of her face
I dreamed we were in the same place
And there was no me, not a single trace
Instead it was something she wanted me to be
The fashionable and cool me
I wonder if I can ever be he
I stood up in front of her Congregation.
I talked about my salvation
I talked about my motivation.
She said it had been years
Since that I've been near
She couldn't help but cheer.
She dragged me to a closet
Held onto me like a precious locket
And we went off like a rocket
I tasted her lips.
I placed my hands on her hips
From her dress I took a dip.
I could feel her underwear
I was almost there.
Until I open my eyes and saw what the ceiling had to bare.
And I was brought to a reality cold
And the lingering feeling was quite old.
Even in dreams where I was bold.
I could never quite get it.
No matter how much I threw a fit
I still was only a worthless piece of shit.
Not Even in my DreamsNot Even in my dreams
I follow your post on facebook
I never leave a word only a look
I guess that makes me a crook.
But you look rather joyful
In a life you call wonderful
But I think I had my full.
Because I can't take it any more
I can't open your closed door
I'm tired of sleeping on the floor.
I'm tired of thinking about the choices
And listening to my doubting voices
While I watch you rejoice.
Yeah, I'm bitter and you don't have a clue
Because you can't see the invisible world of blue
So you should just keep on walking through.
Because I got nothing left for you in my heart
Your rejection made a piece of art
Or maybe a car that just won't start
Now I'm going to start calling you names
Because I'm just that lame
But your the one who fanned these flames
You're a bitch
An ugly witch
A dead snitch.
You're guilty of casting a devilish spell
You illegally locked me in a cell.
With a wink you through me down a well.
And occasionally you come back to laugh at me
And bring your friends to
I have a job with money
I have a beautiful honey
And the sky is still sunny
Yet I can't seem to smile.
In my head I walk miles.
And all my writing ends in a trash pile.
All these feelings in my head
All the sleepless nights on my bed
Everything I ever said.
What was it all for?
When they just ask for more.
I felt this feeling before.
I try to hide it behind a girl
Who I claimed to be my world
But I won't buy her a pretty pearl
It made me not text her for a couple of days
I really had nothing to say
But I end up texting her the third day anyways
Because I was tired of the gloom
And all this stupid doom
I felt like I was going to pop like a balloon
But she only said a few words
That wasn't heard
Because I'm not part of her herd
I can't dance around in the sun.
I can barely have fun
I would rather shoot myself with a gun.
But she will never know.
And as always I'll go along with the flow.
So, it won't show.
Because depression can be quite delightful
And sadness can be beautiful
Broken, Blasted, and Ruin.Broken, Blasted, and Ruin.
It's time to pick up the pen again.
Because Poems are your only friend
Even with all that money you send.
Does she even know a thing about you?
Do you believe her words to be true?
But she hates everything you do.
So that's why you have dirty deeds to hide.
And it kills you deep inside.
But there are somethings you can't leave behind.
Because if you did you would be broken
But she isn't a worthless token
So should you let your love be spoken?
But you're really asking the wrong guy.
Don't ask me why
Because I'll just lie.
Will we be married? Nope
Sorry girl, but I'm not a dope
Because long ago I gave up on hope.
When my heart was destroyed in a blast
It didn't go fast
Only after a few years had past
But I tell you I only had one goal
And that was to be whole
But I found out that I had no soul.
Because I was under a spell
Or thrown into a well
Or locked up in a cell
By some evil witches
Or maybe bitches
Sometimes it switches
And I don't want to sound cruel
Look, their screaming at me
Why can't they see
That I just want them to let me be
I wish I could be free of this place
But I need to run this money race
Otherwise I won't see a smile on her face
And there's only so much I can take
Before I will break
And I'm nothing but a fake.
I act like a I care
But my minds not there
Even if I'm pulling out my hair.
I know we were wrong
But for how long
Will you go on and on
Because I have other things to do
Other then listening to you
Yet you scream to your face is blue
You act so bad
You act so sad
You act so mad
But you're like a child
That was born in the wild
Like you've been reviled.
You have to prove you're a man
You're doing all you can
But you don't understand
I'm not listening anymore
Like I told you before
I don't care, so there's the door.
My Greatest SinMy Greatest Sin
This is not my first sin
And the thought of you knowing gets under my skin
But my soul was never someone who could win
And your not the first girl
To be at the center of my world
And you won't be the last to see me hurl
Because maybe one day I'll get over you
Maybe I should give myself a clue
But I stick to you like glue
So that's why I'm drinking this beer
So okay, it's Smirnoff my dear
But it's what's near
And my dear friend
Why am I writing this poem again?
When you won't read it in the end
Well god only know
And I just go with flow
Because I have nothing else to show
And I just don't fuckin understand
Why this emptiness is able to lead me by the hand
And I'm so ashamed that I can't call myself a man
And you act like you know me
But what do you see?
When your always down on your knees
And not in a sexual way
But you like to pray
So what does God have to say?
What kind of man does he have for you?
Can he ever love you like I do?
Oh I see his faith is true.
Of course i
Onna no HitoOnna no hito
I think I wanted to ask her to dinner
But I know that I could never win her
But that's because she wants a preacher
And I'm just a man at a bar
Who doesn't know how to drive cars
And I don't believe in shooting stars
Nor can I pretend to believe in a dream
Because I always remember what they mean
And she's too sweet like ice cream
But ice cream gives you cavities
And even if I say please
She would never want to be with me
So it seems I've repeated that idea twice
But I wanted to make sure you knew this poem wasn't nice
Because it may be ninety outside, but she's cold as ice
And it doesn't matter how hard I try
Oh all the sweet lies
I'm still just only a man who can't fly
So dj please put on some blues
Because that's color of my soul and is sure does glow
But she will never know
Because she so vain
And It always rains
When there's pain
She lives her life like she's on the top
And the heart ache it doesn't stop
And I feel like I constantly falling in a hundred foot drop
Mr. Taco GuyMr. Taco Guy
I hate you Mr. Taco Guy
And if you ask me why
I would break down and cry
Because I listen about you for two hours
And talked about how you gave life to her flower
And I felt as if I was standing on a tower
That was about to crumble to the ground
But I won't make a sound
Because I want her to be around
I won't say a word
So there's nothing to be heard
So fly away you fuckin bird
Because I don't want see your fuckin face
And I maybe in last place
But you'll win this race.
I don't even know why I bother
when I even got rejection from my mother
So I can take another
And I will curl up into a ball
And forget about it all
But I rather bash my head against the wall
Because I much rather be dead
Then have these thoughts in my head
I can't digest what she said.
Even in my dreams she would want to be with you
It almost makes me want to sue
But thats something I already knew
But thats okay.
I have nothing to say
Because I don't want to lose a friend today
So I'll just let her speak
She's just a FriendShe's just a Friend
She's just a friend
The barrel touches your forehead again
So put your suffering to an end
I'm sorry that was a rather bad joke
And the punch line came and I choke
but in the economy of love I'm flat broke
And I'm about to declare rejection
And if I give you a suggestion
blame it on my lack of affection
First you have to rip open my chest
No heart? I'm just a shell that takes a breath
There's no humanity left
And I could possibly blame that on you
But what good will that do?
And this poem is a pile of poo
Because of one text you crushed my dreams
And as I stared at words on the screen
And I swear I'm the fiend
Second you have to take all these poems
And read them on your way home
Then you can break my bones
Because I feel like you just stab me with a knife
because you want to be someone else's wife
Now finish off my life
Because I'm sure I won't make it past May
And none of these games do I want to play
So lets just end it today
But you shake your head
And slap me f
Mental Disorder Discrimination"You said you've got depression?
No you don't, you attention seeker.
You're just an average teenager with the perfect life
Desperately looking for sympathy."
Stop crying, you coward.
You're just a childish "scaredy-cat".
Blaming your problems on a mental disorder
That doesn't even exist."
"So you're schizophrenic?
Grow the hell up, and stop acting like a child
You're too old for imaginary friends
You callow, juvenile, little twit."
But if we're attention seekers,
Why do we try so hard to hide our feelings from the world?
Why do we isolate ourselves in our rooms,
Desperately hiding the cuts on our wrists
Trying our best to live a normal life?
And if we're simply "scaredy-cats",
Why is our fear so vividly intense?
Unlike simple fear, our anxiety will stick with us forever
A severe long-lasting feeling of powerful panic.
A feeling from which we'll never be free.
Suddenly we're childish for having a mental disorder?
Schizophrenia is not something we can control.
YouIf you’re a girl, you’re a girl.
If you’re a boy, you’re a boy.
If you’re white, you’re white.
If you’re black, you’re black.
If you’re gay, you’re gay.
If you’re bi, you’re bi.
If you’re straight, you’re straight.
If you’re religious, you’re religious.
If you’re an atheist, you’re an atheist.
If you’re mentally disabled, you’re still human.
If you’re physically disabled, you’re still human.
For everything you are:
So who are they to judge you for who you are?
PainParalized by the suffering
A shiver down my spine
Images of my past haunt me
No one can save me from this hell
to me you are perfect
I do not know the reasons
for all those scars burning
against your bright skin
you've been soaking
a pain reminiscing from past
we both cannot recollect
yet you are so beautiful..
when night gets darker
and I am the one...
who's hungered to undress
the spirit of you
slowly revealing the layers
coming off from shadows
disguised in desires
craving to be fulfilled
I will caress every corner
of your silhouette
until I figure the true shape
of your heart
I will rub those blisters
softly until every nerve
of you gushes into a river
and you moan into a life
I had promised you
years ago when we began
to breathe into each other
for all the truths
I must swallow
and lessons I must learn
you are the one
I am destined to discover
what it means
to love in perfection
i can't keep walking on these dry-rot bonesoh, i am not a poet;
like the ink scratches
of plath, i am
specter boy: decay,
dispose, & disappoint
because this is the way
that writers wane -
(this hangman head is no
survivor story, & gods
do not burn out
daydreams and monsters.she was a girl.
she ran with the moon,
chased fireflies in the bluegrass, and
watched the reflection of sunsets in rain puddles.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
but to the dragonflies she was a queen,
and to the mirror she was a sister.
the moon was her prince, and the
blinking windows were the eyes
that kept her safe.
she spent her nights making wishes, and she
dragged her fingers along the shooting stars
that were tangled with her vertebrae.
her name was Alice,
and she was a girl.
her body was a river
her mind was an ocean
and her heart was the sky.
she lived in a world where
doves flew in the sea and
whales swam in the
This One'sThis One's
This one's about a girl
Who created a world
Full of flowers
And Love was power
And she made people smile
And they laughed for a long while
This one's about a boy
Who wanted to be nothing but a toy
He climbed a tower
It took hours
He never cried
Exccept the day she died
This one's about a baby
It was his...maybe
It had her hair
It's skin was fair
It let out a loud cry
And a man forgot about a lie
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More