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RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.
Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.
UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"
Battle in my MindEat.
    Don't eat.
Take it easy.
        Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
            Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
                You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
                    You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
                        They don't understand.
Let me help you.
                            You don't understand.
Show me.
                                No!
I love you..
                                   
In The Daylight
In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat
WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.
wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.
We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.
 
It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.
 
We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.
 
There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so
Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane
Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway
Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.
LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.
Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop
Honesty    Written

         from the

              heart.

No eraser.
Lost In ConfusionLost In Confusion

My mind is spinning without a rest
Emotions whirl and twirl around
A merry-go-round gaining speed
Until the world blurrs before my eyes
What's happening? What's going on?

The simplest thought slips away
Right from my mind, fading so fast
Trying to focus, I stare and stare
Until my eyes are heavy and unclear.
I don't understand, what is going on..

Emotions rise and fall again
Within the blink of an eye
I'm crying, laughing, and depressed
A roller-coaster ride that never ends
Am I losing my mind in this?

I try to close my eyes and rest
But the world spins me around
I feel like I am failing this test
Voices and noises echo
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More from *Alexisisinneed

Ode to the StatueOde to the Statue
Standing so tall and strong
For how long?
Will you show them whats wrong?

Standing with piercing green eyes
It's not a lie
When I wish you were mine

Standing in your Black flowers
And this very hour
You're my tower.

Standing there so neat
Here I am in my defeat.
There's nothing you can beat

Standing so tall with no fears
Don't you hear?
That I wish you were near

Standing so tall what do you make?
Everything is your's to take.
Standing there your no fake.
.......…….

You press replay
To delay
How you feel today.

Because nothing ever goes right
And Tonight
Might be your last night.

But you don't really give a shit
And each time you throw a fit
Your heart takes a hit.

Everything and Everyone is wrong
And it won't be long
Before the end of your song.

But you don't really care.
Nothing seems fair
And no one was there.

But what do I know?
What do I have to show?
Why don't you just go?

Because I fucking hate you.
No, that's true.
I love you.
Maybe it's....Maybe its…

Maybe it's all the rain.
Maybe its because I'm so lame.
Maybe its all the pain.

But I still don't know what I feel
Don't know what is real.
There's nothing to heal.

I don't know if there's a God above
And all I know about Love
Is too push and shove.

If I was alright
Then tonight
You would be right.

But I'm not
So I'll think I'll stop
Because I was never at the top.

But I continue to listen to your lies
And I only ask myself why?
No one knows I want to cry.

No one is truly free
Because you don't see
That your not here with me.

Put your knee's to the ground
And make that stupid sound
But your never around
My StatueStanding strong and tall
You're resistant to the the wind's call.
Break me from my never ending fall.

Wrapped in a array of blue flowers
And I know this very hour
That you stand higher then my tower.

Standing tall, you look so neat.
With a voice so, so sweat
The winds are surely beat.

Standing so tall you make me whole
Eyes that pierce my soul
The winds would never know.

Save me from the double edge sword
Fight back the evil horde.
With your marvelous sword.

Standing tall knowing the you've won.
Resistant to the wind's fun.
Oh my your the only one.
Everything is FineEverything is fine

You say everthing is fine
And this time.
You'll make her mine.

You try so hard to look tall.
So she'll hear your call,
But you continue to fall.

So you said it was a mistake
And she still your's to take,
But your nothing, but a fake.

You act the same
thinking this a game.
You fall in the flames.

She thinks your lame,
but you still tame.
Calling her name.

You want her to be near,
But you she doesn't hear.
So your left with tears.

If she the fule of the fire
Of your burning desire.
Why do you act like a liar?

Remember this is how they won.
Get this done!
Pick up the gun.

Cause nothing ever fine.
Your
The Final DanceThe Final Dance

Take your final dance.
This is your last chance
You can't afford another glance.

YOu fight with a fire
That never seems to tired.
Too bad your nothing but a liar.

You brag about your flame.
Thinking this is a game.
Yet you have no fame.

So you saw the sun
And you survive the gun.
Do you really think this is done?

Your still a fool
And you lack the tool's
To make her think your cool.

So you say you care
And you give in to the dare.
Yet she has nothing to tear.

So your stand up with a fight.
Screaming with all your might.
Your still an ugly sight.

Why do you even try
When you can't fly?
She'll say no and

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August 25, 2012
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I went to work today.

:iconalexisisinneed:

I Went To Work Today

I went to work today
Yet, I thought of you anyway
I guess my heart has something to say

I saw a video of you on facebook
So I thought I should take a look
But that was just a baited hook

And I heard your voice
And I was about to rejoice
But you made the wrong choice

So, I'm like stuck here
Longing for you near
But the farther I get the more you cheer

Does making me depressed make you glad?
You're a good girl gone bad
Isn't that quite sad?

Yet you act like a star
Avoiding the bars
But I think I know who you are

I once had your faith
Now I'm nothing but a wraith
And no loving thing is safe

But you don't care
With that Self-righteous glare
Can't hide your disdain with your beautiful hair

I went to work today
And hey
that all I really want to say.
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