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Not Even in my DreamsNot Even in my dreams
I follow your post on facebook
I never leave a word only a look
I guess that makes me a crook.
But you look rather joyful
In a life you call wonderful
But I think I had my full.
Because I can't take it any more
I can't open your closed door
I'm tired of sleeping on the floor.
I'm tired of thinking about the choices
And listening to my doubting voices
While I watch you rejoice.
Yeah, I'm bitter and you don't have a clue
Because you can't see the invisible world of blue
So you should just keep on walking through.
Because I got nothing left for you in my heart
Your rejection made a piece of art
Or maybe a car that just won't start
Now I'm going to start calling you names
Because I'm just that lame
But your the one who fanned these flames
You're a bitch
An ugly witch
A dead snitch.
You're guilty of casting a devilish spell
You illegally locked me in a cell.
With a wink you through me down a well.
And occasionally you come back to laugh at me
And bring your friends to
I have a job with money
I have a beautiful honey
And the sky is still sunny
Yet I can't seem to smile.
In my head I walk miles.
And all my writing ends in a trash pile.
All these feelings in my head
All the sleepless nights on my bed
Everything I ever said.
What was it all for?
When they just ask for more.
I felt this feeling before.
I try to hide it behind a girl
Who I claimed to be my world
But I won't buy her a pretty pearl
It made me not text her for a couple of days
I really had nothing to say
But I end up texting her the third day anyways
Because I was tired of the gloom
And all this stupid doom
I felt like I was going to pop like a balloon
But she only said a few words
That wasn't heard
Because I'm not part of her herd
I can't dance around in the sun.
I can barely have fun
I would rather shoot myself with a gun.
But she will never know.
And as always I'll go along with the flow.
So, it won't show.
Because depression can be quite delightful
And sadness can be beautiful
Broken, Blasted, and Ruin.Broken, Blasted, and Ruin.
It's time to pick up the pen again.
Because Poems are your only friend
Even with all that money you send.
Does she even know a thing about you?
Do you believe her words to be true?
But she hates everything you do.
So that's why you have dirty deeds to hide.
And it kills you deep inside.
But there are somethings you can't leave behind.
Because if you did you would be broken
But she isn't a worthless token
So should you let your love be spoken?
But you're really asking the wrong guy.
Don't ask me why
Because I'll just lie.
Will we be married? Nope
Sorry girl, but I'm not a dope
Because long ago I gave up on hope.
When my heart was destroyed in a blast
It didn't go fast
Only after a few years had past
But I tell you I only had one goal
And that was to be whole
But I found out that I had no soul.
Because I was under a spell
Or thrown into a well
Or locked up in a cell
By some evil witches
Or maybe bitches
Sometimes it switches
And I don't want to sound cruel
Look, their screaming at me
Why can't they see
That I just want them to let me be
I wish I could be free of this place
But I need to run this money race
Otherwise I won't see a smile on her face
And there's only so much I can take
Before I will break
And I'm nothing but a fake.
I act like a I care
But my minds not there
Even if I'm pulling out my hair.
I know we were wrong
But for how long
Will you go on and on
Because I have other things to do
Other then listening to you
Yet you scream to your face is blue
You act so bad
You act so sad
You act so mad
But you're like a child
That was born in the wild
Like you've been reviled.
You have to prove you're a man
You're doing all you can
But you don't understand
I'm not listening anymore
Like I told you before
I don't care, so there's the door.
My Greatest SinMy Greatest Sin
This is not my first sin
And the thought of you knowing gets under my skin
But my soul was never someone who could win
And your not the first girl
To be at the center of my world
And you won't be the last to see me hurl
Because maybe one day I'll get over you
Maybe I should give myself a clue
But I stick to you like glue
So that's why I'm drinking this beer
So okay, it's Smirnoff my dear
But it's what's near
And my dear friend
Why am I writing this poem again?
When you won't read it in the end
Well god only know
And I just go with flow
Because I have nothing else to show
And I just don't fuckin understand
Why this emptiness is able to lead me by the hand
And I'm so ashamed that I can't call myself a man
And you act like you know me
But what do you see?
When your always down on your knees
And not in a sexual way
But you like to pray
So what does God have to say?
What kind of man does he have for you?
Can he ever love you like I do?
Oh I see his faith is true.
Of course i
Onna no HitoOnna no hito
I think I wanted to ask her to dinner
But I know that I could never win her
But that's because she wants a preacher
And I'm just a man at a bar
Who doesn't know how to drive cars
And I don't believe in shooting stars
Nor can I pretend to believe in a dream
Because I always remember what they mean
And she's too sweet like ice cream
But ice cream gives you cavities
And even if I say please
She would never want to be with me
So it seems I've repeated that idea twice
But I wanted to make sure you knew this poem wasn't nice
Because it may be ninety outside, but she's cold as ice
And it doesn't matter how hard I try
Oh all the sweet lies
I'm still just only a man who can't fly
So dj please put on some blues
Because that's color of my soul and is sure does glow
But she will never know
Because she so vain
And It always rains
When there's pain
She lives her life like she's on the top
And the heart ache it doesn't stop
And I feel like I constantly falling in a hundred foot drop
Mr. Taco GuyMr. Taco Guy
I hate you Mr. Taco Guy
And if you ask me why
I would break down and cry
Because I listen about you for two hours
And talked about how you gave life to her flower
And I felt as if I was standing on a tower
That was about to crumble to the ground
But I won't make a sound
Because I want her to be around
I won't say a word
So there's nothing to be heard
So fly away you fuckin bird
Because I don't want see your fuckin face
And I maybe in last place
But you'll win this race.
I don't even know why I bother
when I even got rejection from my mother
So I can take another
And I will curl up into a ball
And forget about it all
But I rather bash my head against the wall
Because I much rather be dead
Then have these thoughts in my head
I can't digest what she said.
Even in my dreams she would want to be with you
It almost makes me want to sue
But thats something I already knew
But thats okay.
I have nothing to say
Because I don't want to lose a friend today
So I'll just let her speak
She's just a FriendShe's just a Friend
She's just a friend
The barrel touches your forehead again
So put your suffering to an end
I'm sorry that was a rather bad joke
And the punch line came and I choke
but in the economy of love I'm flat broke
And I'm about to declare rejection
And if I give you a suggestion
blame it on my lack of affection
First you have to rip open my chest
No heart? I'm just a shell that takes a breath
There's no humanity left
And I could possibly blame that on you
But what good will that do?
And this poem is a pile of poo
Because of one text you crushed my dreams
And as I stared at words on the screen
And I swear I'm the fiend
Second you have to take all these poems
And read them on your way home
Then you can break my bones
Because I feel like you just stab me with a knife
because you want to be someone else's wife
Now finish off my life
Because I'm sure I won't make it past May
And none of these games do I want to play
So lets just end it today
But you shake your head
And slap me f
She Dreams of a Man That Isn't MeShe Dreams of a Man That Isn't Me
She longs for a man that isn't me
I act like I don't, but I can see
And I don't understand why I'm sadden by her glee
But I should be happy, I guess
But I'm unable to find any rest
And I wonder how I ended up in this mess
But I'll try to stand strong
Because maybe I'm wrong
And I'm the one she wanted all along
But I laugh and shake my head
Can you believe what I just said?
Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead?
But I don't want that!
I want to deny the facts!
And I know I'll end up regretting how I act!
But we all know I'm a fool
Since I dropped out of love and school
So I know the golden rule
How many poems?
How many times until it hits home?
That I'm destine to die alone!
But no one ever said that life was fair
Yet, I sit and stare
while I tell her that I care
I know all about rejection
I know all about affection
And I've seen my reflection
And I know it's full of hate
For myself and all the things I've done of late
And maybe this is just fate
I AmI am single,
but I am loved.
I am not a genius,
but I am intelligent.
I am not breathtaking,
but I have beauty.
I am not a saint,
but I am kind.
To the world,
I am not perfect.
But for someone,
All Her Little ThingsStop hating her for the littlest things.
The things she can't prevent,
The things she can't save herself from..
Stop demanding her to do things,
Things she can't accomplish,
Things she can't imagine being done...
Stop lying to her,
Telling her you love her,
Want her, need her...
When all you've ever done is make her want to
Stop hating her for the littlest things.
The things she can't prevent,
The things she can't save herself from...
When those little things you've done
Take her down...
The little things won't matter anymore.
lung canceri will die with your name on my lips
because there is nothing else i'll need to say.
you are my coffin, my funeral pyre.
as my bones disintegrate, popping and snapping,
you will greedily swallow my ashes
until nothing is left of me but secondhand smoke.
i've danced with you, love, across hospital tile,
the scent of antiseptic cloying as valentine's chocolate.
you dipped me into unconsciousness,
and i willingly closed my eyes.
the intrusion of your scalpel teeth no longer scares me.
you, my rigor mortis soul mate, always take me under.
your tent of frostbitten shelter pulls me down, an anchor,
while i gag on pills too abstract to save me.
forgive me, lungs, of my cigarette abuse,
but i've found happiness in a reaper's cloak.
i find comfort in these carcinogens.
i've made my nest in a swaying tree,
my body destroyed by the nauseous rocking.
they smile at me with pity in their eyes,
scribbling nonsense on those jaw-like clipboards.
their crisp, stark white world still has faith in me,
Don't pick a fight with an Artist
Don't pick a fight with an artist
Wanna fight pussy?
Give me yar best shot
Or will you throw a paintbrush at me?
I'm so scared- not
Excuse me? What did you say?
What is a punch you ask?
Of course let me tell you:
A blow with the fist- it's quite a simple task
Are y' gonna cwyyy?
I dunno what you just said
Why don't you let me show you?
I'll f****** punch you and then- boom- you're dead!?
Pardon? What did you ask?
You need a clearer definition?
Of course, let me show you
I'll demonstrate- with out your permission
Ouch! Hey no fair
Dude you are so gay
You write poetry
I'll make you f****** pay!
Discúlpeme? What did you mutter?
I'm gay? Is that what you said?
Perhaps you need some assistance, let me help
I'll be gentle I promise- I did need new ink! In the colour red<
you've been dead for a year, my deari met you on december 21st,
the longest night of the year.
you had solstice eyes: cold, dark, alluring.
i knew you were not meant to last,
powerful as a gale but fragile as
the tulip stems you snapped,
a sickening cycle of you,
an overwhelming tidal wave.
they say two wrongs will never make a right,
but i made so many bad choices that
i wound up back where I began.
it was too easy to love you,
but getting you to love me back was impossible.
i clawed at your chest until I struck blood,
until my nails split into shards.
you were born a phantom,
and i, your corpse.
holding onto you felt like drowning in quicksand;
i fought but always sank into your arms.
i breathed in dirt, breathed in dust, and
found my organs choked with you,
smothered by your existence.
you sucked out my breath
every time i kissed you.
i died every day with your hand
knotted in my hair.
You left on june 21st,
the longest day of the year.
i bit down sorrow and deconstructed
the labyrinth within me,
the one you hadn't th
Mirror, MirrorMirror, mirror, on the wall,
Watch it crumble, break and fall.
Look at all the bloody glass,
How it reminds them of a severed past.
Watch a reflection slowly disappear,
Looking at all the shattered, crushed mirrors.
A breathless state of mind goes by,
Am I just alive or did I die?
Confused and in an awe,
Careless people unknown to what one saw.
Throat slit so one can't be unlocked,
Too bad the thoughts have become blocked.
Crimson splatters, dripping, breaking away,
Thou shall not know the feeling of all the pain.
Oh, Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Why did you crumble, break and fall?
Eye of the StormI believed I could make the wind blow,
and force the moon to shine at night,
create rainbows just by thinking,
and hold tea parties for fairies in July,
I was the queen of my own graceful lands.
Yet, I grew old and realized,
I am the kind of girl who'd trip and fall,
often for stepping on her own feet.
My crown of diamond and gold
now a rusted piece of bronze,
I lost my throne to treason, my kingdom to hate,
I became the eye of a hurricane,
loaded with mishaps I need to atone.
I felt the soft touches of angels,
and lost my own wings to demons who could crush stone.
Felt the scorching tears run so often,
I knew I must have hit bottom low.
I had nothing holy, no one to call dear,
but here I am, the starting point of my own storm.
I felt fear, clung to shadows,
encased my heart within marble walls,
and threw the keys that can unlock my soul.
So many chances I've lost with no love to seek,
and so many people I turned my back to.
I let the darkness gnaw through my bones.
A stranger walked up to me today...A man walked up to me and asked me for a cigarette… I told him I didn't smoke anymore, and he asked me why? ––I answered "because the person I used to smoke with, isn't around anymore", and he replied…"that's why I smoke."
A woman walked up to me and asked me for drugs, I replied "I have several in store…his eyes, his smile, his hands"…she whispered, "that's not a drug"…and I laughed as I said.. "if only you knew."
A child walked up to me today and asked me to play a game, I told them I was too tired to play games, i'd been playing for years, they replied…"then you must be a pro!", to which I said "yes…a pro at losing."
An old woman stared at me today, and I asked her…"is something wrong?" she answered "I was about to ask you the same question."
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
I went to work today.I Went To Work Today
I went to work today
Yet, I thought of you anyway
I guess my heart has something to say
I saw a video of you on facebook
So I thought I should take a look
But that was just a baited hook
And I heard your voice
And I was about to rejoice
But you made the wrong choice
So, I'm like stuck here
Longing for you near
But the farther I get the more you cheer
Does making me depressed make you glad?
You're a good girl gone bad
Isn't that quite sad?
Yet you act like a star
Avoiding the bars
But I think I know who you are
I once had your faith
Now I'm nothing but a wraith
And no loving thing is safe
But you don't care
With that Self-righteous glare
Can't hide your disdain with your beautiful hair
I went to work today
that all I really want to say.
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More